How Do You Do It?




I’ve struggled with this writing. My heart hurts! Absolutely, positively in pain. You have three of the most amazing children to ever grace this world. Three children who are smart, funny, bright, loving, intelligent and have hearts of gold. You abandon them. You can’t even tell me, or anyone for that matter... what their favorite color is! Who they are in a relationship with or crushing on. Who is their best friend? What about what are they currently studying? How about what school do they attend? Favorite food? Favorite Disney character or even do they prefer Marvel or DC? What are they most afraid of? Have their hearts been broken (besides by you I mean) and do they prefer vanilla or chocolate? All things a parent knows. Do you know it? 


 


So tell me when did you last speak with them? Do you know how Lissy’s voice sounds raspy when she is calm and just as excitable as a toddler when she’s excited? How about Kiki’s voice and how it’s booming and authoritative when she talks but sounds like an angel when she sings? How about Jordan’s voice and how he now sounds like a man with a sweet voice but it can still get high pitched when he laughs or when he sings he can sound so smooth? Do you know? No because you haven’t heard their voices in years. I couldn’t image not hearing their voices every day of my life. 

Do you understand that they all have different personalities so texting all three the exact same message actually hurts that you can’t individualize them. What about did you help them financially throughout the years? Not just child support but what about for a special event? A special date night? What about birthday presents? Christmas presents? It’s been years since you’ve sent them ANYTHING! Graduation presents? Did you even help pay those fees? 

Now you’re money is being taken for back child support. Do you owe it? I have no doubt BUT that’s the time you choose to reach out? Do you reach out when it’s got no profit for you? You can’t be bothered otherwise but now the government is sending them the money and you can’t just be like man I haven’t provided anything for them since they left me in 2013 and now it’s 2021 7 1/2 years of abandonment on your part and you are demanding your money back. 

Did you know they in the last 11 years have been in fear of me losing my life. Have you at any point comforted them? No. Just wanting from them instead of caring for them. 

You make me sick. You make me sad. You make me angry. You make so frustrated because you don’t see the treasure you had and lost. Our marriage wasn’t great. You were never the one for me or I for you. That is perfectly fine with me BUT they should never have been abandoned by someone who should have loved them for the moment they entered this world. But trust I have always made sure to love them enough for you and me. I have protected them enough for both you and me. I became mom and dad and I kicked ass doing it. And the day has come that they finally see who you really are. The truth has shined through. I pity you so much. Because I will always hold their hearts and you are the one who first broke their hearts but I worked hard to put those three beautiful hearts back together again. 



 

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